Country Christmas Stocking Stuffers

Got a great list of last minute stocking stuffers with the big day only a few days off. You might be able to find them locally. Here's my list of well known, and not so well known Christmas gifts

Carrie Underwood's biography could be a great gift. It will cost you around $35 to get it in time for the holiday. Carrie Underwood: A Biography (Greenwood Biographies)

GREATEST HITS

Tim McGraw has a new Greatest Hits CD out, including Felt Good On My Lips. Number One Hits. "Southern Voice" is on the CD too. If you want Tim's hits, this two CD set has them.

Trace Adkins has his American Man: Greatest Hits Vol. II available. Gotta love a guy who can stand up on national television and tell it like he sees it.

ROMANCE

Now for some stocking stuffers that might not have crossed your mind. Western romance novelist Carolyn Brown can be counted on for a few great titles. If you recognize them as country song titles, you are right. Here are three I Love This Bar; Lucky in Love; Honky Tonk Christmas you can grab.

UN-ROMANCE

Unfortunately not all of our friends are going to celebrate Christmas the way we do. For them, there's a funny country album called Merry EX-mas: Holiday Songs For The Divorced And Soon-To-Be. Its performed by a group named, "The Irreconcilables." CD cuts include "Frosty, My Ex-Wife", "Hark, The Hell Has Just Begun", and "Single Girls". A download is a quick and easy way to perk up friends who may be having "that" kind of Christmas.

Steve Wariner is the best guitar player in Nashville. No bragging, its just fact. He's also a friend of mine who went to high school just down the road. If you know someone who loves guitar, played the way it should be Steve's Guitar Christmas will fit.

There are a lot of people in the Magic City who like Jason Michael Carroll. Although you don't hear a lot of songs from him these days, the CD Christmas On The Farm would make a less than $5 stuffer.

And finally if you know someone who loves both kinds of music, Country and Western, Michael Martin Murphey has his western flavored cowboy Christmas CD, Acoustic Christmas Carols: Cowboy Christmas II

These are all Christmas ideas scoured from a number of blog posts and music that's crossed my desk in the past few weeks. Merry Christmas

Roses For Mama-2010

I don't remember when I read this story, but it was a LOONNNG time ago. Probably in an advice column like Anne Landers or Dear Abby. The column was probably the idea behind a long forgotten C.W. McCall song, "Roses For Mama".

The advice was this. When its your birthday, rather than getting presents, you should give flowers to your mom. Maybe its out of date in 2010. It seemed like a great idea at the time. The idea was one my younger brother relentlessly executed every single March 12.

March 12 would come along. There would be the flowers. And not just a small bouquet of flowers. A rose for every year of his life. That's a hefty bill in your 20's. In your 30's, well I could only imagine my brother saving his quarters to afford to give mom her flowers.

I was stuck with promising myself to remember to keep up. I was the oldest. I was the one that should set the example for my siblings. And I had 4 more flowers I needed to provide each year.

December was always a little more expensive time for flowers. There was the holiday of course. And Mom's birthday was a couple of days before Christmas, so the flowers got set aside as many times as they were bought and delivered.

Mom never seemed to mind. She wasn't a touchy, feely, huggy Mom anyway. And it all seemed OK.

Every year on December 1, I remember the flowers. There are a lot more than 30 these days.

I just wish she was still here so I could hand them to her.

I love you, Mom.

Now Hiring in Billings

Working with the public is hard. At the radio station, we get a degree of protection by being behind a microphone or telephone. Here's a story that I would NOT have believed if I had not seen it.

It was a fast food place in town. I think the owner of the company probably has all four of the local stores in his franchise agreement. As I went to the store for lunch, I noticed the "NOW HIRING" street sign. Place wasn't really busy. Unemployment being lower here in Montana as compared to other places in the country strikes me you are a little deeper in the employment pool than other places. Nothing prepared me for what was about to happen.


I've worked my share of fast food places growing up. Its a great place to learn human nature, and even make a buck or two. I even waited tables. (For a day--that work is just too damn hard). Minimum wage isn't the greatest thing to work for, but you signed on for that amount. To me, it means you agreed to do what was asked for that "rental" of your time.

Most of the people you find behind the register I believe want to do a good job. I could be wrong, maybe they just want a paycheck. The man behind the counter at this establishment fits the "give me a paycheck" type.

Here's the scene. Local fast food joint. First thing you notice is the lack of cleanliness. Chicken parts and leftovers on the floor. I think there was one clean table out of about 15. The tables had been cleared but not wiped. Ceiling with evidence of water damage. One electric socket coming out of the ceiling. If I owned the business, I'd be appalled, but hey I chose to eat there right?

On the register is a sign telling you who to call with a toll free number if you have a comment on the service or quality of the business. I had the chance to read the sign a number of times in the two minutes I stood behind the guest in front of me while we waited on someone, anyone to acknowledge our existance.

What follows is true as best I can remember. I've changed the names to protect the business and the employee.

Employee shuffling carelessly to the register. He stares at the customer. No words were exchanged. Finally the customer speaks.

Customer: "I'd like a (details redacted).

Employee: "what (type) would you like

Customer: "I'd like a (blank) Oh, and I'd like to use the coupon too. Can I exchange one of the sides for another product?

Employee: No

Customer: No? (confused) But they are the same price

Employee: No, we're not allowed to do that

Customer: So you'd rather have me unhappy than do something that's doesn't cost anymore?

Employee: Yes. So do you still want the (blank)

Customer: (annoyed) yes.

Employee: Do you want anything else?

Customer: I'll take a drink too

No repsonse from the employee.

Customer walks away leaving who I'm guessing was the husband to pay. Husband hands over a debit card. Employee does the transaction. Then as employee hands the paperwork back says,

Employee: Do you want a water cup with that?

Husband looking at the receipt: Didn't she say she wanted a drink?

Employee: yeah, but she didn't say a size so I didn't charge you for one.

Now that battle starts to escalate as wife wades back in.

Customer: Really? I didn't give you a size and you didn't ask. Really?

Employee: Now you don't have to get angry, I know its morning and every body is cranky but....

Mercifully, a manager comes to the rescue and solves the problem that common sense could have helped. One more part of the story. Remember that sign out in front of the store about "now hiring"? A young man in his mid 20's came in to get an application. Asked this employee if he could have one.

Employee: No. We don't have those here.

With this guy as a role model for employees, its a wonder the owner can stay in business.

Many happy returns

With the holiday season here, might be a good time to talk about refund policies. I know. I'm a guy. What could I possibly know about refund policies? Answer, I don't.

Like most guys, I take NOTHING back to the store. I mean nothing. If I was stupid enough to buy it and it doesn't fit or work like I want it to--that's my bad. I just throw it in that pile of stuff that will rot in the corner or trash dump. Or even worse, move with me to every single new place I move over the next 75 years.

Guys don't return things. Yes, I know its a waste of money, space, energy, time, etc. I'm not going to do it. I'd rather crawl on my bare belly through the snow at the Red Lodge ski area for a half mile than return something. Its just not...manly.

Fortunately, I have experience in watching people return vast quantities of stuff. Here in town, I know K-Mart has a pretty good consumer friendly return policy. I don't hear many complaints, although I'm sure there's always someone waiting. Wal-Mart is consistent. The lines are pretty long there. Remember when Wal-Mart used to brag about their "Made In The U.S.A" stuff. Don't see that anymore. I'd challenge you to find a product, other than maybe food, that IS made in the U.S.A. now. There probably are a couple, but Wal Mart sure doesn't talk about THAT anymore.

This article was about returns and not how much Chinese product is sold at Wal Mart.

Recently had a horrific experience at a local department store, that does not have Mart in its name. The "XXX" store had an item on sale. Somehow, the receipt for the item got lost. Local manager refused to return the item for the price paid. Even when the credit card statement could clearly show how much the item was and where it was purchased, they refused. You might not know this if you haven't worked retail, but every transaction can be pulled up by the store from your credit card statement. Its a matter of "want to".

In this case, the "XXX" department store didn't want to. They'd rather keep my money and have me go away mad.

They are within their rights as a business. They don't have to return my money just because I wanted it back. It struck me, that with Christmas just days away, that it might be worth a reminder to you to be aware of the return policies of where you shop. The item from "XXX" sits on the heap of things I foolishly bought and will never make another effort to return.

The cool part of the story? I have one less place to shop for stuff.

TSA--We Don't Care. No really. We don't

Its Thanksgiving week, and the busiest travel days of the year are upon our roads and air system. The noise caused by TSA enforcement of their arbitrary rules and possible protests are all over the news.

The jokes are rampant. The agents have gone from being recognized as protectors to attackers of American freedom. It is a tough time to be a Transportation Security Agent right now. The mandate is simple and difficult. Stop all potential attacks on our air travel system. The lawyers in our Congress have made the process even more difficult, with rules against about profiling. I know it might be possible that Grandma is carrying concealed weapons, and the baby might have explosives secreted in the diapers.



TSA is an agency designed to do one thing. Make us think we are secure so we aren't afraid. Its generally been more about the theater. Many Americans don't yet fear TSA, but they should. A cross word or frustrated action could keep you from your destination. Heck, it could put you on the "don't fly" list and really cramp what you want to do. The IRS takes your money. TSA can take away your freedom to travel the country.

The next logical step for TSA is easy to see.

Permission slips.

Yep, the kind of permission slips you used to get from mom to miss school, or from the doctor to let you go back to work. I remember the discussion in school years ago of how residents of the U.S.S.R. had to get government permission to travel from one part of their country to another. Its really one small step for TSA to make that a reality in our country.

If it seems far fetched to you, lets walk through the argument. Chances are, unless you are a business traveler, you buy your tickets well in advance. At the moment you buy, your name and destination are sent to TSA (heck it might happen now). There's probably two weeks for someone in the bureaucracy to determine where you might be going. There's already a program requiring your full name to buy tickets. Its one small step to include a "purpose" line on your online ticket buying effort.


I can see the next step in the TSA system working like this.

You decide you want to go somewhere. You log onto the TSA web site (not your "friendly" airline) and request permission to travel to your destination. Since your full name, full address, social security number, phone number and photo have already been logged into the system thru the "Secure Traveler Program" you are allowed to proceed. The TSA site presents you with possible carrier choices for your flight and times. When you make your purchase, you are asked the same kind of questions you would when entering a foreign country. Those responses are logged and added to your profile. You receive a tenative approval to buy your ticket, provided you pass a background check.

When you enter foreign countries now, you are generally asked what your purpose is, where you will be staying, for how long, and when you plan to return. In the name of safety for other air travelers, isn't it plausible to do the same type of questioning for continental travel? Of course government agents, elected officials, transportation workers would all be exempt as many are now from these rules.

Now you finally have received your official approval to fly, and arrive at your departure airport. You are asked the same questions at the airport by the TSA officer you were when you booked the flight. The officer has your answers on his Ipad, along with all of your profile from the TSA database. That profile contains ALL your aviation travel history. At this moment depending on what you say in the next 60 seconds, you get approval to board or not.

Last minute flyers may be out of luck or given a much more stringent questionaire to prove the need to travel.

Sound far fetched? The patdowns and scans of today were absolutely unimaginable just 15 years ago.

In the future, TSA may well be not just the organization that annoys and gropes you. They will be the agency that decides to allow you to get on the plane. You're now free to move about the country--once TSA says so.

They are pretty much that now.

Its the Christmas Parade!!

All right, I understand the idea of political correctness, religious freedom, and your right to believe what you believe, and think what you think.

I'm drawing a line in the concrete RIGHT NOW.

Downtown Billings Association has their 26th annual HOLIDAY parade the day after Thanksgiving. That's wrong. Its only the 2nd HOLIDAY parade. The 24 previous parades were Christmas Parades.

I appreciate there are people who have different views. I don't participate in Dia de Los Muertos or kwanzaa or Hanukkah. I'm not offended by people who do.

But lets cut out the attempts to please everyone. I'm calling it the Christmas Parade. You can call it what you want.

See you from the Cat Country van at the CHRISTMAS PARADE November 26th downtown.

I hate the New York Yankees.

OK. Maybe not so much the Yankees, but some Yankee fans. Here's why.

In 2004, I had the chance to go to a game at old Yankee Stadium. Not being a New Yorker, I was late...way late. After a $75 cab ride across Manhattan, I probably got there in the third inning. My seats were acquired by a friend with the team, so they were great seats. About 9 rows back of home plate...and exclusive "club" access. I was hungry, so I went to the club first. It was not a "come in get what you want on us" kind of club. You paid for it all. Being late, burger and fries were all they had left. The food had been under a heat lamp for a bit, so it was old and greasy. They were surly about getting the food. A sandwich and fries, only $22. Walls were that cheap, trailer park wood paneling. Floor was a mess. Clearly no one had swept since the game started. Tables were not wiped down...you get the picture.

After eating, went to go to my seat, only to discover a couple of Yankee fans had decided these seats are open. They had moved in. Took a few minutes to find the usher, who summarily threw them out. Finally got seated, and endured the curses, smart alec remarks and such from Yankee fans about "get to the f'n game on time".

Oh and since this was post September 11, you could bring nothing into the stadium with you. Instead, you had to leave it at a bowling alley next to the stadium for a fee. Backpack storage, $15. This was a true bowling alley, not a nicer bowling center, like we have in Billings. Probably built about the time Old Yankee Stadium was built. 1927 or so. Smelled like it too.

Ah, the memories of Yankee Stadium and Yankee fans.

Go Rangers.

Censorship supported by Yellowstone Public Radio and NPR

Freedom of speech no longer exists at KEMC, Yellowstone Public Radio. That's an extreme statement. Here's why its true.

Juan Williams has been an NPR contributor and employee for years. Mr. Williams also appears regularly on Fox News. Yesterday, NPR fired Williams for comments he made on Fox. Here's the text of what he said.

On his show "The O'Reilly Factor," host Bill O'Reilly said: "The cold truth is that in the world today, jihad, aided and abetted by some Muslim nations, is the biggest threat on the planet."

Williams, who is also a political analyst for Fox News, said he concurred with O'Reilly, adding: "I think, look, political correctness can lead to some kind of paralysis where you don't address reality."

The analyst said he felt nervous when boarding planes with Muslims on board.

"I mean, look, Bill, I'm not a bigot. You know the kind of books I've written about the civil rights movement in this country," Williams said.

"But when I get on the plane, I got to tell you, if I see people who are in Muslim garb and I think, you know, they are identifying themselves first and foremost as Muslims, I get worried. I get nervous."

Williams opinions don't gibe with the feelings of the political elite. It cost him his job. Because he had an opinion--because he dared speak of his fears, he no longer has a regular job.

Yellowstone Public Radio gets most of its funding from taxpayer supported NPR. This week, YPR is in the middle of a fund drive, asking you to write $175,000 in checks to keep them operating.

As you get that fund raising request in your e-mail or mailbox, maybe now is a good time to think about what that money supports. NPR is a great example of political correctness gone amok. I don't mind people disagreeing with me or my point of view. That's great conversation. I'm a little less tolerant when I'm paying them involuntarily.

I'm volunteering right now with the money I can control. My checkbook is staying in my pocket.

It Could Be Us

Its New York City. And Fox and the local cable company are arguing over who gets how much money. All those NY and Philadelphia baseball fans can't watch the NLCS, because Fox pulled their channels from the cable company in the dispute.

So what. Its New York City.

It could be us.

Remember in June when Cablevision and Bresnan made their big announcement. The one where Cablevision was acquiring Bresnan's assets (that's you) for $1.36 Billion dollars. The cable company in the fight with Fox?

Cablevision.

Here's the simplified argument. Cable companies pay content providers money to carry their signals. Cable companies like Cablevision/Bresnan want to pay the least they can. Providers, like Fox, want the most. Since there is no constitutional right to cable TV, at least not yet, content providers can remove their content from distribution to cable. That's what's happened here.

If Cablevision owned Bresnan now, there's a possibility you wouldn't be able to watch the NLCS either. This argument over fees is going to happen more and more in the future and in two different places.

One, your cell phone provider. Verizon is already on record against Net Neutrality. Meaning, they want to be able to control the data served to your phone. If say, Google, paid them more, you'll get Google results first ahead of Yahoo or any other service. Second, your internet service provider--either Bresnan or Qwest for the most part here. Same issue. Let's say one of the ISP's were collecting a check from a web site who's point of view wasn't the same as yours.

That web site would get "fast lane" service, and get to your machine faster and at the top of the search lists. And you'd never know why.

Who Pays?

Who pays the increased fees for any of this? You already know the answer.

Radio is free. Just the way I like it. No fancy equipment, smart phones, iTunes accounts, or web browsers. Hit a button in my car or the power at my desk--Boom! Real Country Variety, just the way I like it.

It happened at the Grocery Store

How many times have you gotten one of those "rebates" from a cell phone or other company in the form of a "credit card?" Really. Why can't you just give me money off my bill and be done with it? Or maybe even price the item for which I'm getting a rebate at the price that I'm supposed to pay?

I'm certain I don't have the answer.

Last night, the poor people at the Albertsons had to deal with my valiant attempts to use the last $3.60 from my $100 rebate card. I know it was $3.60 because I called the #XXXX number to get the amount.

After retrieving the eggs I needed for breakfast (four per day, scrambled in butter); the bananas since the cupboard was bare (green of course); and ice cream since it was a two for one special, I hiked to the cashier ready to pay. It was a hurried trip, since in typical guy fashion, I had not thought of getting a basket or cart for all the goodies. Everything was on the verge of hitting the floor.

Clearly, I had more than $3.60 worth of goods. Cashier finished ringing up the total, which came to $14.17. Now there was $12 cash in the wallet, and my $3.60 "rebate card." All good, right.

Feeling smug, I handed the card to the cashier first, and waited expectantly for the $3.60 to be drained from the account.

Not Approved. Huh? Lets try that again. The document I got with the card said always use it as "credit" so this time I pushed credit

Not Approved.

Now, there's ice cream melting. Eggs warming. Bananas browning. The line is getting longer. And I know there's $3.60 on that card.

Confession time.

Gave up. Used a different card. One with at least $14.18.

Wonder if the cell phone company will give me $3.60 back on my bill?

They Are Watching You

I admit it. I'm a conspiracy theorist. I'm gullible and will buy most anything I'm told. Except for that bit on health care costs going down with the new ObamaCare health law--even I'm not THAT stupid. But this next story I found today is believable.

The government wants to license you to use the internet. Really. It will probably start small. A little monthly charge dumped at the bottom of your Bresnan bill or Qwest as your "licensing fee." You won't notice it at first. Just another cable rate increase like happens every month. Maybe even an administrative fee the ISP (Internet Service Providers) have to charge so they can identify you to the government watchdogs. The more anti-government you are (watch out Montana Shrugged members) the higher your "license fee" will go.

You may have already heard there are a number of governments, U.S.A. included, that want Blackberry to allow access to their encrypted messaging systems. Its not that far fetched.

All in the name of "national security." A little "out there" maybe? Read this. They are watching you.

Keith Urban and Blake Shelton say

Each week, I spend a large amount of time listening to newer songs that come from Nashville to get played on Cat Country. Many of those songs find their way onto the Discovery Zone at 5:20 each afternoon. Bottom line, its about what Cat listeners think about the songs we play.

I played a song the other day that was so moving its drew the attention of a couple of superstars in country music. Do quotes like this motivate you to listen?

"I just heard that Brett Eldredge song… 'Raymond'
and I ... wept immediately ... the power of music,
to do that ... that's why (music) matters to us."
- KEITH URBAN

"Hands down the coolest song I've heard in a long time: 'Raymond' by @bretteldredge!!!"
- BLAKE SHELTON

I had call after call from listeners saying pretty much the same thing. I don't recall very many, if any, quotes like this from Keith or Blake before. What do you think? Do you like the song? Does what stars think about country music influence you to hear or listen?

You can hear the song and get more information about Brett at this link

Facebook, The Movie

The Social Network is a cross between Wall Street and Animal House, with a healthy dose of geekdom tossed in for effect. Take it for what it is. A movie about the world's most successful internet launch by kids, embellished by Hollywood to make it more interesting.



Don't get hung up in the geekness of the front of the movie (Unless of course you know what an Apache server, server side scripting, and XHTML stand for) Its just a process that allows Zuckerberg to become the most hated student in all of Harvard.

A wise man once said, follow the money and you'll find the answers. This movie follows the money through the legal teams reconstruct of the creation and operation of "the Social Network."

The movie earns its PG-13 rating and I'd be hesitant for children to see it. Its not a lot different than what you see on TV these days. Snorting coke and bathroom sex are about the most offending parts. I don't recall naked body parts and only passing reference to the drug use.

The movie, based on the book, which has had mixed reviews was enjoyable to me. Critics are almost universally giving the show an "A". Zuckerberg is portrayed as a smart-a**, anti-social, money grubbing version of Gordon Gecko. Actor Jesse Eisenberg plays the part well. You can't help but root for him at some level. Bottom line of the movie:

Geeks win.

Recession Over. Congress now battles Loud TV Commercials

Really?

I don't want to write about politics and the absolute incompetence of most of our elected officials. (See how that was carefully worded so those who think they are competent, won't think this piece is really about them.) The scourge of TV commercials that are too loud threatens the whole fiber of our republic and the U.S. Constitution so now the U.S. Congress has stepped in.

The new rule (the Commercial Advertisement Loudness Mitigation or CALM, get it) asks the FCC to ban excessively loud commercials that are above the average level of audio of the program on either side of the commercial. I didn't read to see if there was an exception for political mudslinging ads, but if I were a betting man, I'd bet on an exception.

Senators Tester, Baucus, and Representative Rehberg all voted FOR the bill. Actually you can't say that precisely, since every politician fought NOT to have their votes recorded. Each body's members approved by voice vote--there were NO abstentions, or recording of any for or against opposition.

There are three things about this that drive me crazy. One, there is already such a rule covering the proper levels of audio from all broadcast, radio and television included. That appears not to be enough. Two, don't they have something better to do in Washington to (fill in the blank with your own joke). And three, I really think they have all fallen on their heads and can't get up.

Justin Moore can't order his own dinner

Thursday night, Justin Moore is the opening act for Brad Paisley and Darius Rucker in Bozeman. Its the show that would have been in Metra Park, pre-tornado.



Justin has had a busy year. Couple of big hits; Backwoods, Small Town USA, How I Got To Be This Way. Birth of Ella Kole, his first child. Network special that aired a couple of weeks ago on GAC. Really busy year for Justin.

But it wasn't always that way. In 2008, Justin was another of the new singers in Nashville that no one had heard before. After booking Justin into a small club in north Phoenix, AZ, we went to dinner at a Mexican place on the parking lot of the club. Justin grew up as an only child in Poyen, Arkansas with about 271 other people. Chances are real good he had not seen a lot of Mexican restaurants where Spanish was the ONLY language.

That night, Justin was immersed in Spanish language, as only those who live in Arizona would really understand. Every sign in the restaurant was Spanish ONLY.

Justin was an Arkie out of water. I was able to interpret a bit and help Justin get something he wanted.

Turned out to be a number 4. Three chicken tacos.

The Trouble With Popcorn

Had Hemmingway written a description of the weekend weather for Saturday Live, chances are exceptional the script would not have included a day like the one we had. Birds chirping, cheers from the football stadium, the ARRGH sounds from the Townsquare Media Pirate Cove made for a perfect day.

Except for one thing. When all is packed. When all is picked up. Pioneer Park is abandoned except for the birds, the squirrels, and the disc golf players, what happens to this.


Its the popcorn left behind. Dirty, rancid, chewed on, spit out, left for dead kernels of America's bountiful harvest of corn. Popcorn. What happens afterwards to this noble food? Fortunately, I was able to observe exactly what happened, when a child in a stroller came upon this space.


Note the kernels are in reach to a two year old, who is not strapped in tightly. And while mom isn't looking.

Bam! Problem solved! Although I'm not so sure who would be responsible for the medical bill should the little one get sick from his meal.

Don't let council know, or we'll probably get another committee, vote, and a new nuisance law.

Helena woman fights off bear

I hope you saw this story. Let me give you the capsule version if you haven't.

Helena woman lets dogs out. Bear is in the backyard in a tree. Bear goes after dog, then sees woman and a house of food. Bear drops dog, goes after woman who runs in house. Bear gets half way in back patio door. Woman slams door on Bear, who has his head and shoulders in the house.

While holding the door on the bear with ONE hand, she grabs a ZUCCHINI and smacks the bear on the nose. Bear runs.

I don't know about you, but I'm not buying it.

I can see it now. Instead of bear pepper spray, they'll start selling zucchini's as bear repellent.

Although, you know what a bear does when you spray him with bear pepper spray?

Gets out his salt shaker.

The weekend of EVERYTHING

You are just not trying if you are bored this weekend. Tonight (Friday) is Ales for Trails at Dehler Park. It runs 4-10pm in the new location. Saturday there's Farmers Market downtown (only one more weekend to go); Saturday Live takes over Pioneer Park from 10-4; and comedian Sean Morey (the Man Song) is at Bones Brewing at 8:30.

Sunday is the Yellowstone Art Museum's Bridal Fair from 10-4. Its free. And guys, there is a "Man Cave" at the fair if you get pulled along. Football, pizza, and beer.

Hands Free Texting

The latest proposal from government in the Magic City allegedly has to do with a ban on text messages sent from public facilities. The same general public interest and safety concerns regarding possible accidents that can be caused by texting while driving, also apply in a public facility.

One public official described it this way, "Imagine the disaster that can be caused by a man texting while standing at a public urinal. A slip of the phone, a twist of the body, and hazardous bio materials could escape into the atmosphere."

The destruction of public property by phones falling into the "drink" while texting is a major budget issue. The cost of replacing these toilets destroyed by reckless texters runs into the thousands of dollars a day. The council is considering the ban at their next meeting.

The ordinance would establish a "potty patrol" that will visit many public restrooms in the city. Its unknown whether the lookouts will be permitted to site a patron while in a stall or if they will only be allowed to look for violations elsewhere.

The potty patrol will be funded by the last portion of stimulus money received by the city. While the project wasn't shovel ready at the time of the spending spree, it certainly is a perfect opportunity to create good paying jobs in the green and tech sectors of Billings economy. In addition, there were no more tunnels to be built under roads in the city.

Texting in public restrooms would subject the violator to a $50 fine on the first violation. First responders, police, fire, ham operators, government officials, ambulance drivers, and truckers will be exempt from the new rules.

The city indicated that hands free texting would be acceptable under the new ordinance. Residents can also pre-pay for the right to text in public restrooms at City Hall. The text pass, called the P-P-P, will be available for $50 for a years use.

Public hearings on the proposed ordinance will not be held, since government knows best.